Posted in DemEd in Real LifePhilosophy of Education on Mar 15, 2010 - 01:13 PM
This past week, there was a Hawaiian Music Festival at Tempe Town Lake, not far from my neighborhood. I did not attend, but a good friend of mine checked it out before coming over to my house for a visit. He said it was a fun time with plenty of ukuleles to play and good music all around. But when he got to the front of the line of the 'Make Your Own Hawaiian Lei' booth, the staff told him that adults were not allowed to make a lei, that the artful activity was for kids only.Was he heartbroken over it? Nah... but he was pretty bummed out. He had never made a lei before, and here was a great opportunity to broaden his horizons, but he couldn't participate...apparently, he's too old for that. How discouraging, right? Here you've got all these kids, gleefully working away at their beautiful souvenirs, having a super-fun time on a border-of-springtime day, and even if you want to have fun with them, or on your own, it's not gonna happen if you're over a certain age.
Why is that?
Where in time did we as people guide ourselves to live by standards that separate children and adults by the kinds of fun they have or activities they do? Shouldn't it be the case that, if somebody thinks it would be fun to make a lei at a Hawaiian festival booth, they are encouraged to do so?
My small example draws attention to a huge disconnect in our society. Children are children and do things appropriate for their age, and adults are adults that do things appropriate for their age. Each age class has a wide array of acceptable things one can do, games one can play, songs one can sing, etc. And to stray too far from the list of appropriate things one can do as an adult or child is, or can be, viewed as inappropriate, or even shunned, by others in society. But we've accepted that people of different race, sex, creed, and stature are just as entitled to the same opportunities as the next person. Why are we still hung up on some sort of segregation of children and adult?
There are certain barriers we place on children for great reason, such as using great precaution while a two year old examines a cutting knife, or just not allowing them to discover such a sharp object at an early and eager to experiment age. But is there really a need to discourage adults from participating in activities that children generally and usually enjoy? It seems like a healthy and good thing for adults to partake in childish games and activities. Doing such things might really inspire some of the inner aspects of a human to come back out from being tucked away since childhood.
But right now, it is very common for there to be child-only activities, and likewise, adult-only activities. However, I feel that there is a need, in order for us to progress as coexisting people, to accept or discover that the child in every person does not die at any specific age, but lives on as a silent voice in many adults, and should be heard and considered so as to guide the actions we as adults take in life. And likewise, we ought to involve, or share with, young people in the adult-oriented activities we do that children may take interest in. There is no need to ever force anyone to do anything, just as there is no need to prevent others from doing certain activities where no potential for harm or badness is present. That being said, why not allow all members of society to participate in those activities which they find intriguing if the opportunity arises?
One of the most beautiful and stunning aspects of democratic education is the parallel drawn between adult and child. We are both people first, and are learning throughout the span of our entire lives. For that reason, it makes little sense, to me, to partition off certain activities in life for only certain crowds. I can only speak for myself, but I want my realm of discovery and experience to have as many options and outlets as possible. If that means cutting paper snowflakes with three toddlers and seven adults at Christmas time, then bring it on. There is no reason for me not to engage in what might be viewed as a childish art project if I want to.
Perhaps at the Hawaiian Music Festival, resources for making leis were low, hence the activity was only for children. But I think it's unfair to offer it only to kids if it's safe and entertaining for adults to make them, too. And considering the current format of our society, I somewhat doubt that many adults would have made leis anyhow.
We can include children in the things we do as adults. And we can participate in the things kids do as children. If we continue to uphold a sort of child/adult segregation, then the example we put up for display will remain the same, that example being that children are children, and adults are adults, and adults and children are different. But we ought to strive for our example to be, people are people, and enjoy doing things together. Life is all about experience. Some of my favorite memories are from experiences I've had with kids, and I wouldn't doubt that some of those kids I have formed favorable memories with also have some favorite memories that they've made with me.
I know that if I am ever holding a booth that would commonly be open for children's enjoyment, and I see an adult there, I'm going to ask them if they would like to participate, too. And I bet I will get quite a few affirmative answers. I mean, we're all living on the same earth...Why not share our time cooperatively with as many others earthlings as we can? I sure hope it's not because we are afraid of learning something new.
Tags for this entry:
games,
joy of learning,
childhood,
adulthood,
age-appropriate learning
Comments
Mar 17, 2010 - 04:54 PM
This post resonates very much with me. I never lost the love of doing kid things and don’t have much shame about it. When I was in high school, a parent was interviewing me for a babysitting job and said that she liked how I got down on the floor and played with the kids. The funny thing is that I hadn’t realized I’d even done that. I just liked coloring and playing with Playmobil figures!
As you know, I got to relive my education through the personal development project I did, Reschool Yourself. It was incredibly liberating to do activities I hadn’t done in years and years: go on the swings, play tag, play with Play-Doh, and listen to a story. These are things that are considered silly for adults, but there’s so much joy in doing them that it’s a shame we don’t do them more often.
There’s a trampoline gym in California that I love, because it makes you feel like a kid again. They also have a pit filled with giant pieces of foam where anyone is welcome. It’s great for kids and adults to play together, and for each to show the other that you don’t have to lose your sense of fun when you grow up. The lei-making station could take a cue!
Mar 17, 2010 - 09:04 PM
Thanks for your comments Sara and Melia. It is so strange how people feel that once they are a certain age, there are certain things that person no longer should/can do. What makes it so strange is when you see 60 year old people running marathons, or 30 year old aunt’s playing hide and seek tag with their nephew and his friends. Even people who are older are still able to do childish, silly, and fun things, or even strenuous things like running and exercising. But we tend to say, “I’m too old,” or, “I could do that when I was younger,” or, “Oh to be 20 again…”
We shut ourselves out and away from so many activities that we are so able to do in our older age. But we should leave the door to those opportunities and adventures open. More people should sing songs at work about the funny food they serve, because it is fun and makes things exciting. More people should revisit those fun places they remember growing up at, like a trampoline gym, or an inflatable bounce-around gym. It’s just fun.
We should not be telling ourselves that it is not okay to have fun.
I mean, just the other day, with the company of my 6 year old niece and 4 year old nephew, I went on a journey to the Land of The Tall Grass, just in my backyard, and we found a Magic Gem that had a mission for us to complete in order to prevent the Land of The Tall Grass from dying, and it was a blast! We were laughing, and talking, and it was like I was just hanging out with another person. Because that’s what kids are first, they are people, just like adults. And I have faith that we as a society will realize in time that it is okay to do funny looking, “childish” things.
Just like The Beatles said, “It’s getting better all the time.”
Mar 19, 2010 - 08:34 AM
Beautiful and insightful post, Shawn! I find myself often working from the perspective of all the ways in which young people are denied opportunities or voice because of their age (voting, having a say in their own education, certain kinds of employment, etc.), that I less frequently think of the opposite: ways in which adults are denied access to youth-only activities, like making leis.
I think for instance of the great programs at a educational farm near where I live, including picking eggs, learning about composting, and more, which are only for kids (and their parents - which is one way in which adults get the chance to take part in those kinds of activities!)
It makes me think that focusing on ways adults are denied access to youth-only activities may also serve as a powerful way in which to help adults realize all the ways in which young people are denied access to the many adult-only aspects of society. With the goal being that adults and youth become allies in working for the reduction of age discrimination in its many forms.
Sara Schmidt
Mar 16, 2010 - 02:24 AM
Shawn, I couldn’t agree with you more. This makes me think of the time I had a coworker tell me that I needed to have a child so I could “have someone to play with.” I was managing a restaurant at the time and, though my coworkers often found my whimsy and strange rhymes about our food unsettling, I’d like to think that I made them have some fun, too.
I think your comments about holding a booth are very true—but that, if offered, many adults would be far too embarrassed to participate as well, thinking that it’s a “children’s activity” and not appropriate for them to do, which is a shame.
I think you might be interested in a website about “Adultitis” run by a couple named Kim and Jason… I just stumbled on it a couple of weeks ago and have been hooked! They are all about retaining some childhood in your life and have some awesome ways to do so. Their videos are fun to watch, too. http://kimandjason.com/blog/