“Don’t Drop It!”
She was making me pretend stew in her cooking bowl and when she handed it to me to "eat," she said, "Now don't drop it! It will make a mess!" Her voice was so serious and stern, and yet so familiar. I quickly realized that was because she was echoing the same thing I tell her every time I hand her a bowl or plate.
What mistrust I must be conveying to her! At four--nearly five--of course she knows not to drop a bowl or plate. So why do I keep telling her not to, which surely only reinforces the idea that I find her incapable, clumsy, or unable to be trusted--none of which are true.
The things we learn about ourselves are just as insightful as the things we learn about our children through role play and modeling. I think if we all paid close attention to what is going on in our child's imaginative play, we might find out a lot about our parenting styles--both the good and the bad--as well as some inspiration for changing our behavior.
Posted in Parenting on Aug 02, 2010 - 04:10 PM
This morning, my mouth dropped in horror as I realized how I must sound when I speak to my child.She was making me pretend stew in her cooking bowl and when she handed it to me to "eat," she said, "Now don't drop it! It will make a mess!" Her voice was so serious and stern, and yet so familiar. I quickly realized that was because she was echoing the same thing I tell her every time I hand her a bowl or plate.
What mistrust I must be conveying to her! At four--nearly five--of course she knows not to drop a bowl or plate. So why do I keep telling her not to, which surely only reinforces the idea that I find her incapable, clumsy, or unable to be trusted--none of which are true.
The things we learn about ourselves are just as insightful as the things we learn about our children through role play and modeling. I think if we all paid close attention to what is going on in our child's imaginative play, we might find out a lot about our parenting styles--both the good and the bad--as well as some inspiration for changing our behavior.
Tags for this entry:
parenting,
parent involvement,
imagination,
imaginative play,
modeling,
play time,
role playing
Comments
Aug 08, 2010 - 11:53 AM
Thanks Cian! You’re right, we just have to laugh when this happens, learn something and move on. Our instinct is to prevent a mess from occurring, but where would the learning be? 
Cian Sawyer
Aug 06, 2010 - 09:57 AM
Here here, Sara! I often see/hear myself reflected in the words and tones my children use in their play and conversations with each other and friends. Sometimes I cringe. Sometimes, though, I get to laugh at myself.
Funny I should read this this morning because i watched my almost 7yo holding her bowl of cereal (that she’d just poured for herself) while climbing on the step stool to put the box back. I had visions of her stumbling and the whole thing going everywhere (milk and all) but I managed to stop myself and watched in wonder of my growing up baby! (Plus, i said to myself, if it spills it’s not that big a deal *and* she’ll self adjust because of it.)
Thanks for this.