http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/ Parents who raise their children to be self-directed learners and decision makers are true pioneers navigating uncharted territory. en sarajschmidt@gmail.com Copyright 2011 2011-08-22T01:07:46+00:00 http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/article/what_back_to_school_is_like_for_an_unschooler/ http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/article/what_back_to_school_is_like_for_an_unschooler/#When:00:07:46Z
I've been finding myself in rather hostile territory--or, perhaps, I am just hostile. All of these parents are posting pictures of their children next to buses or with their new teachers, and though I'm not feeling left out, when I joined in with our own participatory photos in "Not Back to School" activities recently, I was met with a little bit of defensiveness. Why can all of these teachers and parents be so proud and open about what they are doing, while I have to keep explaining over and over again why we chose this "lifestyle," what issues we have with public schools, etc. etc. It is as if they automatically think that we think we are better than them or something, rather than that we are just trying to be good parents.

More and more often, I am struggling to shrug off old memories of being abused by teachers--verbally, emotionally, and in one case, completely neglected to the point where I was attacked by an older boy. It used to be easy for me, but now that I'm constantly learning more about ed reform and discussing it (or being put on the defense), it's in my face constantly. I was an honor student in the top 3% of my class, worked hard, tried to please everyone, and for what? For a math teacher to tell me I needed psychiatric help in front of my entire class? For a science teacher to belittle me? For two home economic teachers, an art teacher, and even two of my elementary teachers be downright mean enough to me to make me cry, even as I tried to do what they wanted me to? To spread myself so thin, to the point where I started seeing a counselor and being medicated, only so more could be demanded of me?

Some of my teachers are my heroes. They really are. But most of my demons that I try to suppress are also teachers. And the system sucks; most teachers will even admit that. It's not designed in the best interest of students nor teachers, but in that of corporations and government officials desiring uniform, sardine products to employ and use. And I'm tired of having to qualify my extreme dislike of schools with "I support the teachers, just not the schools" in the same way I have had to qualify my "I support our troops, but not the war." Because you know what? I do support our troops--but not the ones who are raping their own female comrades. And I don't support the teachers who are heinously abusing kids, either--whether they mean to or not. We seem to treat both as if they are gods, rather than human beings like ourselves who vary on an individual basis.

I support anyone doing their jobs with integrity--nurses, teachers, doctors, even politicians. I don't support these same groups when they don't do their jobs in good conscience. And there are plenty on both sides, no matter what career you enter. I am allowed to hold many teachers in the same regard as you might hold many politicians--just as I am allowed to revere some of them, as I would certain politicians like Paul Wellstone or Shirley Chisholm.

I feel I must state that this is not the only reason we homeschool; I could give you a thousand reasons why. But while it's not the biggest reason, it's certainly a large one.

A dear cousin of mine, who is a teacher (and I'm sure she's in the hero category, not the gremlin one), commented that she could not imagine not going back to school, as our "Not Back to School" celebration (just the three of us eating ice cream, really) photo indicated. I commented back that I couldn't imagine going back, and I meant it. And while I respect the opinions and preferences of so many who do send their kids back every year, I'd love it if I could get that same courtesy.

]]> DemEd in Real Life, Philosophy of Education, Parenting 2011-08-22T00:07:46+00:00 http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/article/deschooling_our_lives/ http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/article/deschooling_our_lives/#When:10:01:03Z
Maybe that comfort isn't a good thing, though. Maybe we should always be growing, changing, altering our opinions--which is the point of self-directed learning in the first place, right? Hern's Deschooling Our Lives made me remember how I, myself, am a life-long learner, and that was the entire point, wasn't it? That this isn't some "alternative education" but real, life learning that naturally occurs, the kind of learning that took place since the beginning of humans, since before institutionalized school and television took over.

Many of the wonderful essays in the book reminded me of this point, but one that really stuck with me was when it was mentioned that we need to not just de-school our kids, but ourselves from "the Combine," as John Taylor Gatto's Dumbing Us Down alludes to (I'm reading that one right now, actually; gotta love Interlibrary Loans!). I didn't realize that I still thought of "high school dropouts" as failures. Why on earth would I of all people still believe such a thing? From my conditioning, of course. I love the suggestion that Aaron Falbel made in his essay, "Learning? Yes, of course. Education? No Thanks," to think of "dropouts" as instead being conscientious objectors or "refuseniks"!

Just the fact that I could re-imagine this concept and change my mind after so long gives me hope, and reinforces my belief in learning without schooling. As my husband's layoff became something real, I've learned quite a bit about making cutbacks, self-administering health treatments (I'm pretty sure I had pneumonia this month, but we don't have health care, so I'm not sure), and juggling even more than I'm used to. I've been learning about the Health At Every Size (HAES) movement and how to accept that fat can be pretty, even on me. I've been learning how to potty train our new dog, Totoro, as well as teach him tricks. I've been learning how to trust, to lean, to get by, and to just go with it, things that most other parents learn, too.

I've been learning a lot of things lately; even though I'm 28 years old, I've never stopped learning, and I don't need a school house to foster it for me. Neither do kids.]]> 2011-03-30T10:01:03+00:00 http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/article/help_us_venture_into_homeschooling/ http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/article/help_us_venture_into_homeschooling/#When:20:58:11Z
My dad has agreed to enter my younger brother in a homeschooling program. He is currently a high school freshman, attending the high school I graduated from. This high school has recently become charter. It is now more undemocratic than it was when I went there. They are adopting a $65 gray, black, and white uniform. The principal cuts down the decisions of student government, and cuts activities when she is upset by the students. I have started to see a change in my brother. He is even more tired than he was in middle school. He lacks direction - but I know he likes to learn. He is always talking about history. He is teaching himself how to draw Anime. He recently built a computer after learning about and ordering all the necessary parts and working with a guy from the local office depot who knew about computers.
My hometown is a small county of Los Angeles that lacks educational resources. There are NO homeschooling groups here. Here is what we have looked into:
*CAVA (California Virtual Academies): This is a free online homeschooling program. We started to enroll him during is 8th grade year, but my mother canceled the registration because she believes that school provides "socialization." She now somewhat agrees to homeschool. CAVA provides in person meetings with teachers, and holds events to get families together.
*Kaplan Academy: another online homeschool - They offer clubs and flexible schedules and students also meet with their teachers one on one.

There is a meetup group in Long Beach, but they charge (even up to $116) for all of their activities.
There is the Los Angeles Homeschool Hangout Group that was founded last month and they are having their first official meeting *right now*. I just searched this on meetup. They don't charge, it is for social events/homeschool-how-to, and most of them do online homeschooling.

Where should my dad start? Should I make a profile for him with the group? Should he go ahead with the online academy sign up? Our main hurdle is with not being sure if this will work. My dad thinks he will have to spend the whole day instructing my brother. My mom thinks he will not have friends and will not have the proof (transcripts) needed for college. I am concerned that he will be the house most days, and will be in a slump for a while before he gets used to having time for himself - and that this will convince my parents that homeschooling doesn't work.This site has contributors in a variety of schooling situations. Can any of you give me some tips on how this can work?]]> 2011-01-11T20:58:11+00:00 http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/article/coming_out_of_the_unschooling_closet/ http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/article/coming_out_of_the_unschooling_closet/#When:07:38:00Z Reverb 2010 challenge, which includes a daily prompt designed to help one reflect over 2010 and plan for 2011. It's been a fun, enlightening, and sometimes painful process that I'm truly grateful for.

When I answered today's prompt, which was to discuss a defining moment in your life this year, I found myself recalling some ugliness directed at unschoolers earlier in the year and my own reaction to it:

Until the reaction that people had over that piece made the hair on me bristle, I didn't really want to claim that word. I'm still not a huge fan of it, as I don't think it truly describes what we do, and I hate labels anyway; I like "self-initiated learning," and terms like that, I suppose, that seem more specific. “Self-taught” definitely describes me in many respects.

It also taught me a bit about living authentically, and what it really means to live by your own rules rather than by the rest of the world's:

Nonconformism is, apparently, about much more than just sticking it to the Man. It's about sticking to your choices and ethics even when it's so hard and when everyone around you doesn't understand and translates it through fear and criticism rather than questions.

(To read the rest of this post, you can visit my blog.)

I have obviously learned so much from my fellow bloggers and the resources here at IDEA this year and I am so grateful for this opportunity. As much as I've learned and grown this year just by being here, I couldn't even begin to predict where I'll be this time in 2011. All I can say is that I'm excited to find out!

Happy New Year!]]> DemEd in Real Life, Parenting 2010-12-29T07:38:00+00:00 http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/article/10_keys_to_real_education_reform/ http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/article/10_keys_to_real_education_reform/#When:14:19:45Z National Day of Blogging for Real Education Reform, I thought I'd write a bit about what I'd like to see done in public schools if real reform were enacted. I've already written about what education for the whole child might look like, but I thought I'd touch on ten specific, major things that I'd love to see either added or subtracted from public schools as they are.

Of course, there are dozens of things I'd love to see changed in schools as they are. I'm only writing about the top ten on my own list that pertain to kids. Plenty of other issues, from teacher variables to school bus safety to administrative checks and balances, are also on my radar, but I feel that factors that directly touch kids on a daily basis, including the very purpose of education, need the most attention. Here is my list.]]> Philosophy of Education, Parenting 2010-11-22T14:19:45+00:00 http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/article/sometimes_you_have_to_just_sit_back/ http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/article/sometimes_you_have_to_just_sit_back/#When:20:28:58Z
If we want our kids to be autonomous, we can't expect them to want everything we want, or be the same as we are. This means that their goals may be different from ours--from the smallest things to the larger ones. I'm thankful that I'm learning this early on as my five-year-old expresses herself and often has different ideas about things than I do.

One thing that she's been surprising me with lately is her arts and crafts projects. She comes up with some pretty amazing uses for our projects, and while sometimes I am just astounded by how cool they are, sometimes I am... less than enthused. Still, I have to maintain my neutrality and let her use her creativity as she pleases.

Here is a prime example of how I was emotionally attached to a piece of artwork that she wanted to use as something else. Luckily, I'm learning to get over this sort of thing now. I don't think that means it will get any easier as she ages, but perhaps when I'm faced with her choices of friends, interests, music, and anything else, I will be a little more prepared and used to supporting her no matter what--and not judging her by her choices.]]> Parenting 2010-11-09T20:28:58+00:00 http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/article/10_essentials_for_democratic_homeschooling/ http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/article/10_essentials_for_democratic_homeschooling/#When:10:34:35Z here are ten things that we've found to be vital and necessary in our daily learning. Hint: workbooks are not included!

Though this list is of intangible items, I felt that another list of intangible things that we've found helpful in homeschooling would also be helpful to share. Here are 10 additional essentials in the intangible realm.

10. Flexibility
While many homeschoolers do adhere to a strict schedule, many democratic homeschoolers create a fluid, daily agenda that changes in accordance with the whole family's input. Many homeschooler-specific programs also meet at certain times, which may have to be fit into one's schedule.

9. Time
While many people say they can't homeschool because of work, many families can make such situations work by alternating schedules, rotating caregivers, or working from home. That said, time is definitely needed in order to give your child the attention she needs.

8. Respect
You may find your child's outfit of choice laughable, or you might not like that your daughter hates dance and would rather take taekwondo instead (trust me, it's way cooler and our little girl is in love with it!), but respecting your child's choices is important when you're unschooling or democratic homeschooling.

7. Resourcefulness
If your area just doesn't have a public choir or swim team and your child is really interested in these things, you might think of traveling, searching meetup groups in the next city, or even starting your own. Homeschoolers use every resource at their disposal and often create some of their own.

6. Creativity
When your budding astronomer wants to see space, you're going to wish you had a rocket to give her, but you're also going to know that it's simply not something you can provide! Instead, you can make homemade rockets, watch space programs, go to the planetarium, or even sign up for space camp.

5. Gumption
Yes, you're going to need this--particularly when people put you on the defensive side when it comes to your life choices. Responding like you did with their unwanted (but well-intentioned) baby advice years ago by smiling and nodding and leaving it at that can often be helpful, but when you're being attacked, you'll need the strength of your own character to fall back on. Remember, you're doing this because you decided it was in the best interest of your child and your family; whoever is giving you a hard time probably hasn't looked at it the way you do and doesn't know your child like you do, either.

4. Empathy
If your best friend is frustrated, not "getting" something, or simply having a rough day, you don't normally get angry with him or her. Instead, you offer empathy. Sure, kids express frustration differently than we do sometimes, but that's just part of growing up.

3. Understanding
Okay, I admit that I often don't "get" my daughter's obsession with machines, inventing things, and using rope on a daily basis. However, I do understand that she has a passion, and I will do all I can to support it.

2. Patience
Every parent could use extra servings of this key ingredient at dinner. In fact, if I could ask for more of it for Christmas, you bet I would!

1. Love
Love is all you need, right? It also makes everything so much easier. Think about it--if you didn't love your kid, it might be a bit harder to homeschool. Aside from the fact that it would be harder on me, this is one of the reasons I opt to say no when people ask me to homeschool their children, too. (Plus, I don't think that our exploratory, playful, and downright unconventional lifestyle would be something every parent would approve of for their own children.)]]> Parenting 2010-11-04T10:34:35+00:00 http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/article/a_parents_take_on_alternative_education/ http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/article/a_parents_take_on_alternative_education/#When:16:46:02Z
But people generally are interested in other forms of education that are possible, which is fantastic. I think a lot of people simply don't know about the options that are out there (of course, you could always simply design your own! That's pretty much what eclectic homeschoolers like us do--we take what we like from each idea and wrap it up in an exciting format just for us) and when they learn about them, they get interested, excited, dubious, angry--you name it. No matter what emotions are evoked, I think it's important for every parent to be aware of the different paths toward education that are available to them and their children.

So I decided to create an introductory list to different forms of education out there for parents to peruse. It's very simplistic, based on my own understanding, and also by no means exhaustive. It's a quick read and easy to scan, hopefully making it worth sharing with parents out there. I hope it will help garner some interest into not just alternative forms of education, but also in ways to integrate different methods and styles of learning into various local public schools. ]]> Education Policy, Philosophy of Education, Parenting 2010-10-28T16:46:02+00:00 http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/article/the_homeschooling_disclaimer/ http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/article/the_homeschooling_disclaimer/#When:14:08:04Z
Each time I criticize the American public school paradigm or talk about homeschooling, I always feel like I have to preface it with a disclaimer about how much I support teachers, public schools that work, etc. But this little disclaimer feels so hollow; I've encountered just as many awful teachers as I've encountered amazing ones, when I add them up on paper (I know, it surprised me, too), and we definitely hear more stories about schools that fail than those that succeed.

The thing is, I don't support most American public schools that function on an outdated model that only serves to strip children of their identities, take away the joys of childhood itself, and render what has meaning meaningless while instilling values and goals for "success" that have nothing to do with the child him or herself. And I don't support a good portion of American teachers who staunchly support the model, either. Here's why.]]> Philosophy of Education, Parenting, Teaching 2010-10-22T14:08:04+00:00 http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/article/arent_you_worried_about_the_socialization/ http://democraticeducation.org/index.php/blog/article/arent_you_worried_about_the_socialization/#When:06:12:53Z
"Well, that's not for us," a relative says. "We want our kids socialized!" another agrees. "Aren't you worried about her socialization?" demands a relative we see fairly rarely. "Well, I guess since you were a teacher it's okay, but it's not okay for other parents," concedes a friend.

It's funny; you find a lot of support one week, and the next you encounter more opposition. Back and forth, back and forth--the homeschool issue is certainly one people feel strongly about! I almost feel like it's a topic similar to abortion or the death penalty; I know my view is in the minority in my community, so I don't even want to bring it up because it is that hotly contested!

I wholly support public schools when they work (free schools in particular), as well as school reform that includes addressing the whole child, redefining the meaning of success, and plenty of other issues we fail to address as a whole. I understand that many parents simply cannot homeschool, and many teachers are my heroes. I have friends and family members who are teachers as well, and I wholly support them, too.

That said, I wanted to give people a bit of perspective from a homeschooler's shoes when it comes to these common questions. I decided to pick ten of the most common questions I get and to turn them around, asking them instead to public schoolers. The result is this three-part top ten list, "Aren't You Worried About the Socialization?"

I also wanted to reiterate how amazingly awesome homeschooled kids (and their parents) are. I keep meeting more and more wonderful homeschoolers and unschoolers in our community (as well as online) and am just wowed by how smart and fun they are. Last week I had an incredibly long discussion that was almost philosophical with a six-year-old unschooler, and last night we had an amazing time with some bright, creative homeschoolers, as well as public schoolers, (and a pot-bellied pig!) at one of our new favorite haunts, the Reading Habit(at). While I'd never want to exploit kids as "poster children," I do wish that some naysayers could just meet these incredible kiddos and see what their world, our world, is like.]]> DemEd in Real Life, Parenting 2010-10-14T06:12:53+00:00